Why bother caring when no one cares for you? why bother fighting when in the end i’m going to lose? why bother trying when i’m just going to fail? why bother living just to tell a tale? why bother telling the truth when people are just going to lie? why bother surviving when i’m just going to die? why bother loving someone when they don’t love you back? why bother believing i’m going to have to face the facts? why bother dreaming when i’m going to wake up? why bother following my path when it’s full of bad luck? why bother to do right when it turns out to be wrong? why bother singing when no one likes the song? why bother laughing when i’m just going to cry? why bother smiling when i’m just going to ask myself why? why dare? why try? all i will get is lies. why hope? why dream? everything is darker than it seems. why smile? why laugh? i will have no chance. why live? why survive? i’m just going to die.
Finally gained my motivation back. Everyday i’ve been waking up at the crack of dawn for school 8 and 9 am classes. Usuallly i’d sleep right thru them and say ahhh fuck it but now im actually going and if thats not a shocker as it is… im actually doing my homework and enjoying it. Not sure what changed my mind set but im glad i did. And not only have I been doing this but now everyday after my 12 oclock classes i am going to the gym at post and i refuse to let myself not go + i work errryyday allday. So much activities but they make me feel so good about myself. yay!
